What If How We Spend Our Time Matters More Than What We Do?
Lately, I've noticed something interesting about myself.
When someone asks, "What have you been up to?" I sometimes struggle to answer.
After more than 40 years of working, I had that question down to a science. Projects, meetings, responsibilities, accomplishments. Growing up in Germany, I learned early that Ordnung muss sein (there must be order). And believe me, I could account for every hour of my week. Apparently, my German upbringing didn't include instructions for doing absolutely nothing!
Now, as I continue my pro-leisure tour (my playful name for retirement that I’m borrowing from my friend Denise!), I'm discovering that I don't need to account for every hour of my day.
Apparently, nobody told my brain.
I'm reading, creating art, exploring new places, meeting people, helping my parents, and sometimes doing absolutely nothing. Although, I must admit, doing nothing still takes a little practice!
But I'm realizing that the more interesting question isn't necessarily "What did I do today?"
It's "How did I experience today?"
That's a very different conversation.
For much of my life, I measured time by what I accomplished. Now I'm discovering the value of paying attention to how I feel while I'm living it.
Am I relaxed or anxious? Curious or distracted? Am I genuinely enjoying what I'm doing, or am I already mentally organizing tomorrow's to-do list?
And perhaps most importantly, am I giving myself permission to enjoy this moment without needing it to lead somewhere?
I've started noticing the subtle signals my body offers. Sometimes I feel energized and eager to lean into an experience. Other times, I catch myself watching the clock, even when I have nowhere else to be. Go figure!
Both reactions tell me something.
I'm also discovering that life doesn't always fit neatly into categories of good or bad, productive or unproductive, success or failure. There's an enormous amount of possibility in the gray space between those extremes.
That space invites curiosity rather than judgment.
Of course, I still have moments when the uncertainty of the future feels daunting. After all, my brain spent decades planning, anticipating, and solving problems. It isn't going to surrender its clipboard overnight!
But when I bring my attention back to the present, I often find more peace, perspective, and even a little delight in the unexpected.
Maybe this chapter isn't about figuring out what comes next.
Maybe it's about discovering how I want to experience the life I'm living right now.
A Little Gift: Change the Question
For the next few days, try something different.
Instead of asking yourself, "What did I accomplish today?" take a quiet moment and consider:
What gave me energy today?
When did I feel most like myself?
What did I notice when I slowed down?
You don't need to change anything, write a journal entry, or create another to-do list. (You're welcome!)
Simply notice what comes up.
Sometimes awareness is the beginning of meaningful change.
And perhaps a life well-lived isn't measured only by what we do, but also by how fully we allow ourselves to experience it.
