The Stories We Tell, Becoming the Editor of Your Life

What story are you telling yourself about your life? It's a question we don't often stop to consider, yet the narratives we create can either keep us stuck in a loop of self-doubt or light the path to a more fulfilling future. As a coach, I've found that many of my clients—and myself included—struggle with feelings of unworthiness, a lack of confidence, or that internal battle between "doing" and "being." These challenges often stem from a narrative we've outgrown. Coaching, at its heart, is a collaborative partnership that offers a powerful way to begin editing and rewriting that story, transforming it from a source of struggle into one of strength and purpose.

Recently I was reminded of the powerful concept: That we CAN become the editor of our own stories! In a brilliant TED Talk, psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb explores how our personal narratives, when incomplete or misleading, can keep us stuck instead of providing clarity. She says we are all "unreliable narrators" of our own lives, and that the stories we tell ourselves actually shape what our lives become. 

From Fear to Freedom

For the past nine months, my life as a federal employee has been incredibly uncertain. After investing 25 years of service, I found myself in a story of "This is terrible. I may lose my job and I have no control over this. Do I even have what it takes to jump into another full-time job?" This narrative felt heavy, disempowering, and filled with fear.

Then, I was reminded of a powerful concept explored by psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb: we can become the editor of our own stories. In her TED Talk, she shares that we are all "unreliable narrators" of our own lives, and that the narratives we tell ourselves shape what they become.

I've learned to lean into this idea, and it has lit a fire under me. It prompted me to dive more quickly into my passion for coaching—for supporting and connecting with people in a space that allows for pause, reflection, and thriving. Taking the time to explore what really matters to me and regaining my agency by setting goals and intentions that deeply align with my core values has changed my story.

I've shifted from, "this is terrible," to, "I accept what comes my way, and I will prepare myself to respond positively and productively." I have faith in my abilities; they have served me well and will continue to do so. The unknown may prove to be better than the known, and leaning into whatever that is feels right.

This shift isn't easy. It requires me to step out of my "emotional jail cell," as Lori Gottlieb puts it, and walk around the bars. My story was about a lack of freedom and a fear of change. I was trapped by a single plotline!

As a Manifesting Generator, I leaned into my design. My energy is best used when I'm responding to opportunities rather than trying to force things, which aligns beautifully with my Sacral Authority—that gut instinct that tells me what's right. My story of fear was creating "not-self" frustration, which my Human Design tells me is a signal to pause and realign. By editing my story, I gave myself the space to wait and respond to life's unfolding with grace and a renewed sense of purpose.

Becoming the Editor of Your Life

The biggest shift often comes from looking at our story from another person's point of view, or from a wiser, more compassionate perspective. This work, of course, isn't always easy to do on your own. It can be hard to see our own blind spots when we're so deeply entrenched in the narrative we've created.

This is where a coach can be a powerful partner. My role is to hold a safe, non-judgmental space for you to give yourself permission to pause and reflect. We work together to explore your identity, values, and beliefs, much like an editor helps a writer uncover a new plot or a missing detail. It’s a collaborative process of co-creating your next chapter, helping you gain the clarity and confidence to move forward from a place of deep alignment.

For me, that meant reframing my career uncertainty not as a loss, but as an opportunity. This required a courageous edit, which I talked about in my blog post, "How to Have a Courageous Mindset," where I shared a blueprint for stepping beyond your comfort zone. I realized that the story of losing my job was only one potential ending. What if the next chapter was actually filled with even more purpose and fulfillment?

The same is true for the stories we tell about our worthiness and confidence. We may have a narrative about not being "enough," when in reality, we're simply not seeing our own unique value. This can relate back to the idea of shifting from "doing" to "being" that I explored in my post, "Embracing Change with Your Body's Intelligence." When we are just "being," our value isn't tied to an external accomplishment or job title; it's an inherent part of who we are.

A New Chapter Awaits

What story are you telling yourself right now that might be keeping you stuck?

The narratives we create can be our biggest obstacle or our greatest source of power. By taking the time to compassionately edit your story—to let go of the parts that no longer serve you and add in a more truthful, nuanced plot—you create a blank page. And while that blank page can be terrifying, it also holds infinite possibilities for the hero of the story: you.

Are you ready to write a new chapter?